If we care to reflect on why it matters so much to us to not be perceived as an imposter, we will come to see our deep longing for integrity, acceptance, competence and evolution in our personal and professional lives. No matter who we are, we want to feel that we belong in the world and are validated by it. With those whom we interact, we want to be seen for who we really are and valued at that foundational level without condition. But in order to receive that acceptance, we must meet the world with openness and be vulnerable in showing it who we authentically are. Only after we do this can we occupy a place in the world in any meaningful sense.
To languish under the weight of feeling like an imposter should be the first sign that there is a part of ourselves that we are suppressing or holding back. It might be the case that in the domain where we are experiencing this dissonance, we aren’t on purpose, occupying a role that inhibits our ability to bring our highest gifts or abilities to the world. Lacking the integrity or wholeness in being able to make this contribution, it is only natural that we will feel like we are living in someone else’s skin. As uncomfortable as this feeling is to endure for any lengthy period of time, it carries with it a powerful message that nigh is the time to replant ourselves in a garden that is more fertile in its constitution. Who are you really? When you feel the pangs of discomfort in feeling like an imposter, imagine the life of your spirit asking you this question. How you respond might just lead the imposter to retreat into the darkness.
Feeling like an imposter can also tell us a lot about our innate yearning for competence, or dare I say mastery in a domain that is meaningful to us. Whatever it is that we are involved in, for work or leisure, we want to feel that we are up to the task and won’t make a fool out of ourselves by our involvement. So how do we avoid this fate? Well, firstly we can take conscious steps to develop this competence through educating ourselves and hard work. While our native abilities are in some respects less pliable than the skills we are able to develop, we can still effect progress by applying ourselves to the task of getting better at the things we are involved in. Here, it is vitally important that we push through the inertia that the intense feelings of the imposter syndrome bring about. If we can move beyond the initial fear that wells up within us to lead us to feel helpless, we will come to see that there is a lot that is within our control to quieten these feelings of inevitable future failure.
Some of the most amazing feats of human endeavour across a number of fields have been achieved by individuals who admit to being consumed by the fear of failure. These individuals, who equated failure with losing face in front of those who looked up to them, didn’t allow this fear to paralyse them in moving towards their goals. Using it instead as a powerful form of motivation and focus, they allowed it to spur them on to heights that arguably would not have been reached if they weren’t possessed of such a fear in the first place. As admirable as this is in its own way, what shouldn’t be lost in this drive for results is the accompanying quality of the journey that is taken to get there.
Even if we allow the imposter syndrome to drive us forward to higher levels of accomplishment, we can’t escape the reality that in this process we have contaminated our present moments with high levels of stress and trepidation. With the outcome of failure not yet being escaped at the time we are doing the said activity, what still consumes our present moment experience of the doing is the concern of not measuring up to our own and others expectations. Quite simply, white-knuckling it is not an enjoyable experience. While we might make it to the end of the proverbial roller coaster ride, if our principal relief is that we managed to survive, can we really be said to have taken pleasure in the ups and downs of the ride? No matter what it is that we are involved in, I don’t think we should ever lose sight of the positive and nourishing things that we can derive from the process to getting where we want to go. Whatever it is that spurs us to get there, some things just aren’t worth being compromised on the way. So you want to learn said subject so that you can speak confidently about it to a group of employees or potential investors? Great. Why not revel in that journey of growth and discovery. If where you are currently gives expression to your calling or vocation, that path to unfolding your innate abilities and connection to what it is that you love can be one of the most rewarding things that a person can achieve personally and professionally. Trust me, I have experienced it, and seen that tasting enrich the lives of others who are living their calling.
Dr. L. Christian Duperouzel 